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The Goatee - 47

A middle aged woman went to her cosmetic surgeon to see what her options
were concerning her rapidly sagging face.

"We can give you an old fashioned face-lift, or we can use a new high tech
procedure called The Knob."

"What is the "knob" doctor?" she asked.

"It is a procedure where we install a knob under your hair on the back of
your head. We then connect it to the facial muscles which sag, and when
you see new wrinkles and sagging, you just tighten the knob a few turns
and your skin is nice and tight again."

"Oh, yes! That's what I would like to have," she replied excitedly. The
operation was a complete success, and she looked 15 years younger. As time
passed, when she would notice new sagging, she would simply tighten the
knob and... voila! Her face was once again beautiful.

One day about 8 years later, she woke up one morning and saw very large
bags under her eyes. Alarmed, she called the doctor and reported the
bags.

"You had better get right over here, and I'll check this out!" the doctor
replied. After examining her, he said, "The bags under your eyes are
your breasts...."

To which she replied, "Well, I guess that explains the goatee!"

Mind your manners - 94

Charlie marries a virgin. On their wedding night, he's on fire, so he
gets naked, jumps into bed, and immediately begins groping her.
"Charles, I expect you to be as mannerly in bed as you are at the
dinner table." So, Charlie folds his hands on his lap and says, "Is
this better?" "Much better!" she replies with a smile. "Okay, then,"
he says, "now will you please pass the pussy."