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Never argue with a woman - 75

One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after
several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.

She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to
read her book.

The peace and solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish & Game Warden, in his boat.

He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you
doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?').

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'

'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start
at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the
woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Fish & Game Warden.

'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start
at any moment.'

'Have a nice day ma'am'. And with that he left.

MORAL:
Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

Searching - 25

There were two blondes who went deep into the frozen woods searching for a
Christmas tree. After hours of subzero temperatures a few close calls with
hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said, "I'm chopping down
the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"