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The Lone Ranger's Last Request - 70

The Lone Ranger's Last Request

The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured
by an enemy Indian War Party.

The Indian Chief proclaims,
"So, YOU are the great Lone Ranger" ..
"In honour of the Harvest Festival,
YOU will be executed in three days."

"Before I kill you, I grant you three requests"

"What is your FIRST request ???'

The Lone Ranger responds,
"I'd like to speak to my horse."

The Chief nods and Silver is brought
before the Lone Ranger who whispers in
Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away.

Later that evening, Silver returns with
a beautiful blonde woman on his back.
As the Indian Chief watches,
the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent
and spends the night.

The next morning the Indian Chief admits
he's impressed..
"You have a very fine and loyal horse",
"But I will still kill you in two days."

"What is your SECOND request ???"

The Lone Ranger again asks to speak
to his horse.
Silver is brought to him,
and he again whispers in the horse's ear.

As before, Silver takes off and disappears
over the horizon.

Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise,

Silver again returns, this time with a
voluptuous brunette, more attractive
than the blonde.

She enters the Lone Rangers tent
and spends the night.

The following morning the Indian Chief
is again impressed.
"You are indeed a man of many talents,"
"But I will still kill you tomorrow."

"What is your LAST request ???"

The Lone Ranger responds,

"I'd like to speak to my horse, .... alone."

The Chief is curious, but he agrees,
and Silver is brought to the
Lone Ranger's tent.

Once they're alone,
the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears,
Looks him square in the eye and says,

Listen Very Carefully !!!!
FOR... THE... LAST... TIME...

I SAID ...

"BRING POSSE"

A talking pig - 108

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three
Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the
first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his
home. She read, "...and so the pig went up to the man with the wheel
barrow full of straw and said, "Pardon me sir, but may I have some of
that straw to build my house?" The teacher paused then asked the
class, "And what do you think that man said?" One little boy raised
his hand and said, "I think he said 'Holy Shit! A talking pig!'" The
teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.