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Vending Machine - 116


An American salesman checked into a futuristic hotel in Tokyo, Japan.
Realizing he needed a haircut before the next day's meeting, he called
down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises.
"I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him apologetically, "But down
the hall from your room is a vending machine that should serve your
purposes." Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine,
inserted $15, and stuck his head into the opening, at which time the
machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman
pulled out his head and surveyed his reflection, which reflected the
best haircut of his life. Two feet away was another machine with a
sign that read, "Manicures, $20." "Why not?" thought the salesman. He
paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and the machine
started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later he pulled out his
hands and they were perfectly manicured. The next machine had a sign
that read, "This machine provides a service men need when away from
their wives, 50 cents." The salesman looked both ways, put fifty cents
in the machine, unzipped his fly, and with some anticipation, stuck
his manhood into the opening. When the machine started buzzing, the
guy let out a shriek of agony and almost passed out. Fifteen seconds
later it shut off. With trembling hands, the salesman was able to
withdraw his tender unit, which now had a button sewn neatly on the
end.

Wisconsin cow - 50

The only cow in a small town in Arkansas stopped giving milk. The people
did some research and found they could buy a cow up in Westby, Wisconsin,
for $600. They bought the cow from Wisconsin, and the cow was wonderful.
It produced lots of milk all of the time, and the people were pleased
and very happy.

They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows
like it. They would never have to worry about their milk supply again.

They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow.
However, whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away.
No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away
from the bull, and he could not succeed in his quest.

The people were very upset and decided to ask the Vet, who was very wise,
what to do. They told the Vet what was happening: "Whenever the bull
approaches our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she
moves forward.When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. and
when he approaches from the side, she walks away to the other side."

The Vet thinks about this for a minute and asks, "Did you buy this cow in
Wisconsin?"

The people were dumbfounded, since they had never mentioned where they
bought the cow. "You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know
we got the cow in Wisconsin?"

The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye, "My wife is from
Wisconsin."