Which one is funnier? Click to Pick!
A guy walks into a bar with his midget wife and takes a stool, with
his wife standing next to him. The bartender was busy at the other end
and didn't see them when they walked in. When he got done serving the
customers there, he walked down the bar and asks the new customer what
he would like. He asks for two glasses of beer, which the barman
brings. After leaving him, the bartender goes about serving other
patrons, when he notices the man has finished his beers. He asks if he
would like a refill, and the man says, "Yes. I'll have a couple more.
"The barman gets two more beers and sets them in front of the man.
Never having seen anyone with the guy, his curiosity is piqued, and he
asks him, "Why, do you order two drinks at a time?"
The man replies, "Oh, one is for me, and the other for my wife."
Astounded, having not seen the midget wife, the bartender says, "Your
wife? Where is she?"
"She's standing here next to me."
The bartender, standing on his toes, leaning forward looking over the
edge of the bar, utters, "Well, I'll be God damned, she ain't any
bigger than your hand!"
The man replies, "No, but she's a lot better!"
A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money,
decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman" and
started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.
She went to the front door of the first house, and
asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.
"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my
porch," he said, "How much will you charge me?"
The blonde quickly responded, "How about $50?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and
everything she would need were in the garage
The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to
her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes
all the way around the house?"
He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"
The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm
starting to believe all those 'dumb blonde' jokes
we've been getting by e-mail lately." A short time
later, the blonde came to the door to collect her
"You're finished already?" the husband asked.
"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had paint left
over, so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the
$50.00 and handed it to her.
"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a
Porch, it's a Lexus