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Who's Deaf - 49

There is a husband and a wife and the husband is worried because he thinks
his wife is going deaf.. So the husband goes to the doctor and says
"My wife is losing her hearing what do I do?"

"Do a test." says the doctor. "Ask her a question from 40ft away, 20ft,
10ft and 5 ft away. See when she starts to hear you."

So he went home and asked his wife from 40ft away when dinner will be
ready.

No response.

20ft no response.

10ft no response.

At 5 ft his wife replies "For the 4th time dinner will be ready in 10
minutes!"

The Lone Ranger's Last Request - 70

The Lone Ranger's Last Request

The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured
by an enemy Indian War Party.

The Indian Chief proclaims,
"So, YOU are the great Lone Ranger" ..
"In honour of the Harvest Festival,
YOU will be executed in three days."

"Before I kill you, I grant you three requests"

"What is your FIRST request ???'

The Lone Ranger responds,
"I'd like to speak to my horse."

The Chief nods and Silver is brought
before the Lone Ranger who whispers in
Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away.

Later that evening, Silver returns with
a beautiful blonde woman on his back.
As the Indian Chief watches,
the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent
and spends the night.

The next morning the Indian Chief admits
he's impressed..
"You have a very fine and loyal horse",
"But I will still kill you in two days."

"What is your SECOND request ???"

The Lone Ranger again asks to speak
to his horse.
Silver is brought to him,
and he again whispers in the horse's ear.

As before, Silver takes off and disappears
over the horizon.

Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise,

Silver again returns, this time with a
voluptuous brunette, more attractive
than the blonde.

She enters the Lone Rangers tent
and spends the night.

The following morning the Indian Chief
is again impressed.
"You are indeed a man of many talents,"
"But I will still kill you tomorrow."

"What is your LAST request ???"

The Lone Ranger responds,

"I'd like to speak to my horse, .... alone."

The Chief is curious, but he agrees,
and Silver is brought to the
Lone Ranger's tent.

Once they're alone,
the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears,
Looks him square in the eye and says,

Listen Very Carefully !!!!
FOR... THE... LAST... TIME...

I SAID ...

"BRING POSSE"