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HONK if you love Jesus - 54

The other day I went to the local religious book store, where I saw a
HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the
back bumper of my car, and I'm really glad I did. What an uplifting
experience followed.

I was stopped at the light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought
about the Lord, and didn't notice that the light had changed. That
bumper sticker really worked! I found lots of people who love Jesus.
Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy. He must REALLY love
the lord because pretty soon, he leaned out his window and yelled,
"Jesus Christ!!" as loud as he could. It was like a football game
with him shouting, "GO JESUS CHRIST,GO!!!" Everyone else started honking,
too, so I leaned out my window and waved and smiled to all of those
loving people.

There must have been a guy from Florida back there
because I could hear him yelling something about a sunny beach, and saw
him waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the
air. I asked my two kids what that meant. They kind of squirmed, looked
at each other, giggled and told me that it was the Hawaiian good luck
sign. So, I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back.
Several cars behind, a very nice black man stepped out of his car and
yelled something. I couldn't hear him very well, but it sounded like,
"Mother trucker," or "Mother's from there." Maybe he was from Florida,
too. He must really love the Lord. A couple of the people were so caught
up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and were
walking toward me. I bet they wanted to pray, but just then I noticed
that the light had changed, and stepped on the gas. And a good thing
I did, because I was the only driver to get across the intersection. I
looked back at them standing there. I leaned way out the window, gave
them a big smile and held up the Hawaiian good luck sign, as I drove
away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks.

The Statue - 46

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the
front door. "Hurry!" she said, "stand in the corner."

She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with
talcum powder. "Don't move until I tell you to," she whispered. "Just
pretend you're a statue."

"What's this, honey?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.

"Oh, it's just a statue," she replied nonchalantly. "The Smiths bought one
for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us too." No more was
said about the statue, not even later that night when they went to sleep.

Around two in the morning the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen
and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk.

"Here," he said to the 'statue', "eat something. I stood like an idiot at
the Smiths' for three days, and nobody offered me as much as a glass of
water."