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A strange postcard - 95

A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she
told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the
nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby
there. "But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked. He
replied, "Just send me a postcard and write 'spaghetti' on the back.
I'll take care of expenses." Not knowing what else to do, the nurse
took the money and flew to Italy.

Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called him at
the office and explained, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard
in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means."
The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to
you."

Later that evening, the doctor came home, read the postcard, fell to
the floor with a heart
attack. Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead medic stayed back to
comfort the wife.
He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest. So the wife
picked up the card and read, "'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti,
Spaghetti - Two with sausage and meatballs, two without.'"

A funeral - 101

A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away.
At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket
out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They
hear a faint moan! They open the casket and find that the woman is
actually alive!

She lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once again, a ceremony is
held, and at the end of it, the pall bearers are again carrying out
the casket. As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband
cries out: "Watch that fucking wall!"