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Terms of endearment - 32

A man was invited to a friend's home for dinner, where he noticed that
his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms,
calling her Honey, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, and so forth. He was
impressed at this, since the couple had been married over 50 years.

While the wife was in the kitchen, he said, "I think it's wonderful
that after all these years you still call your wife those cute little
pet names."

His buddy hung his head. "To tell you the truth, I forgot her name
about 10 years ago."
v

The Bathtub Test - 44

During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director,
'How do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized?'

'Well,' said the Director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon,
a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.'

'Oh, I understand,' I said. 'A normal person would use the bucket because it's
bigger than the spoon or the teacup.'

'No.' said the Director, 'A normal person would pull the plug.. Do you
want a bed near the window?'