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Hole Behind - 78

A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf course,
became confused as to where he was on the course. Looking around, he
saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her, explained his
confusion and asked her if she knew what hole he was playing.
She replied, "I'm on the 7th hole and you are a hole behind me, so
you must be on the 6th hole." He thanked her and went back to his golf.

On the back nine the same thing happened and he approached her again
with the same request. She said, "I'm on the 14th, and you are a hole
behind me, so you must be on the 13th." Once again he thanked her and
returned to his play.

He finished his round and went into the club house where he saw the lady
sitting at the end of the bar. He asked the bartender if he knew the lady.
The bartender said that she was a sales lady and played the course often.

He approached her and said, "Let me buy you a drink to show my
appreciation for your help. I understand that you are a sales
lady ....
well, I am in sales also. What do you sell?"

She replied, "If I told you, you would only laugh."

"No I wouldn't," he said and persisted that she tell him what she sold.

"Well if you must know", she answered, "I sell Tampax."

With that, he fell on the floor and laughed so hard he almost lost
his breath. She said, "See I knew you would laugh."

"That's not what I'm laughing at," he replied, "I'm a toilet paper
salesman, so I'm still a hole behind you!"

Oranges - 57

A girl was a prostitute, but she didn't want her grandma to know. One day,
the police raided a whole group of prostitutes at a sex party in a hotel
and the girl was among them. The police took them outside and had all the
prostitutes line up along the driveway when suddenly, the girl's grandma
came by and saw her granddaughter.

Grandma asked, "Why are you standing in line here, dear?" Not willing to
let her grandmother know the truth, the girl told her grandmother that the
policemen were there passing out free oranges and she was just lining up
for some.

"Why, that's awfully nice of them. I think I'll get some for myself," and
she proceeded to the back of the line.

A policeman was going down the line asking for information from all of the
prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, he was bewildered and exclaimed,
"Wow, still going at it at your age? How do you do it?"

Grandma replied, "Oh, it's easy, dear. I just take my dentures out, rip
the skin back and suck them dry."