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Who's stupid? - 79

So, earlier today, I was watching one of my family's cats hitting a
cord hanging from our blinds for about 10 minutes or so, and I started
thinking 'jesus, the stupid animal is so damn easily amused'

And then I realized that I'd been staring at a cat playing with a
string for ten minutes.

After Vegas - 67

Three buddies decided to take their wives on a week-long vacation to
Las Vegas. The week flew by and they all had a great time. After they
returned home and the men went back to work, the men sat around at break and
discussed their vacation.

The first guy said, "I don't think I'll ever do that again! Ever since
we got back, my wife flings her arms and hollers, '7 come 11' all night,
and I haven't had a wink of sleep!"

The second guy said, "I know what you mean. My wife played blackjack the
whole time we were there, and she slaps the bed all night and hollers,
'Hit me light' or 'hit me hard!' and I haven't had a wink of sleep
either!"

The third guy said, "You guys think you have it bad! My wife played the
slots the whole time we were there, and I wake up each morning with a
sore dick and an ass full of quarters."