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Blonde Joke - 11

A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money,
decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman" and
started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.


She went to the front door of the first house, and
asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my
porch," he said, "How much will you charge me?"


The blonde quickly responded, "How about $50?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint and

everything she would need were in the garage

The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to
her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes
all the way around the house?"

He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"

The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm
starting to believe all those 'dumb blonde' jokes
we've been getting by e-mail lately." A short time
later, the blonde came to the door to collect her
money.

"You're finished already?" the husband asked.

"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had paint left
over, so I gave it two coats."

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the
$50.00 and handed it to her.

"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a
Porch, it's a Lexus

Last Laugh - 51

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a
comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the
intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.
Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather
ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful flight.
Now sit back and relax---OH MY...!"

Then silence.

Soon, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and
Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier but while I was talking,
the flight-attendant brought me a cup of very hot coffee and she spilled
it in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"

A passenger in Coach said, "That's nothing. He should see the back of
mine!"