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Tax Office and the Rabbi - 31

t the end of the tax year, the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit
the books of a synagogue.

While he was checking the books, he turned to the Rabbi and said, "I
notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle

"Good question," noted the Rabbi. "We save them up and send them to
the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of

"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual
question had a practical answer.

But on he went, in his obnoxious way: "What about all these biscuit
purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?"

"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi, realizing that the inspector was trying
to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We collect them and send
them back to the manufacturers, and every now and then they send a
free box of holy biscuits."

"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster
the know-it-all Rabbi.

"Well, Rabbi," he went on, "What do you do with all the leftover
foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?"

"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save
up all the foreskins and send them to the Tax Office, and about once a
year they send us a complete dick."

Snip Snip - 21

A midget complained to his doctor that his testicles ached all the

The physician told the midget to drop his pants. The doctor then
lifted him up onto the table to take a look.

Putting one finger under the left testicle, the doctor had the midget
cough. "Hmmm" said the doctor. Then, putting his finger under the
right testicle, the doc asked the midget to cough again.

"Ahhh!" said the doctor, as he reached for his surgical scissors.
Snip, snip, snip on the right side & then snip, snip, snip on the left

The doctor then told the midget to pull up his pants and see if he
still ached.

The midget was delighted with the result. He walked around the doc's
office and his testicles did not ache.

"What did you do Doc?" he asked.

The doc replied, "I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots."