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Holy Bread - 74

A sales representative from a major chicken producer is sent on a
mission to the Vatican.
He meets with the Pope: "Holy Father, my company would like to make a
substantial donation to the Holy Mother Church - but there's only one
condition...."

"Yes, my son?"
"We'd like you to authorize changing the Lord's Prayer from "Give us
this day our daily bread to give us this day, our daily chicken."
"I don't know my Son. Tradition and all, you know."
"Well your Holiness, we are prepared to give you a Million dollars to
do this."
"I don't know my Son. Tradition and all, you know."
So, the chicken man, hurries off for a quick phone call to his boss
and he comes back.
"Your Worship, I am authorized to go up to one Billion dollars if you
change "Give us this
day our daily bread, to give us this day our daily chicken."
The Pope shrugs with a smile and says, "Well, now, my Son, give me a
call tomorrow."
Later that day the Pope has a big meeting with his Cardinals,
Bishops, Priests the whole Vatican family is there.
He says to them, "Boys, I gotta some a good news, and I gotta some a
bad news...."
"The good news is that the Holy Mother Church has come into one
Billion dollars!!"
(CHEERING! APPLAUSE! BRAVO! BRAVO!!!)
"Boys, the bad news is that we have lost the Wonderbread account!"

New Safeway Store - 7

We've been waiting for this store to open ....

The new Safeway near our house has an automatic water mister to keep the
produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant
thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and witness the scent
of fresh hay.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air
is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.

I don't buy toilet paper there any more.