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Which one is funnier? Click to Pick!

Try a different phone - 39

A blonde went into a world wide message center to send a message to
her
mother overseas. When the man told her it would cost $300 she
exclaimed,
"I don't have that kind of money!! But I would do ANYTHING to get a
message to my mother in Poland!"

The man arched an eyebrow. "Anything?"


"Yes, anything" the blonde promised.


With that, the man said, "Follow me" He walked into the next room and
ordered, "Come in and close the door" She did.


He then said, "Get on your knees" She did.


Then he said, "Take down my zipper" She did.


He said, "Go ahead...take it out" She took it out and grabbed hold of
it
with both hands. The man closed his eyes and whispered, "Well... go
ahead!"


The blonde slowly brought her lips closer, and while holding it close
to
her lips she said loudly "HELLO.....MOM???

Vending Machine - 116


An American salesman checked into a futuristic hotel in Tokyo, Japan.
Realizing he needed a haircut before the next day's meeting, he called
down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises.
"I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him apologetically, "But down
the hall from your room is a vending machine that should serve your
purposes." Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine,
inserted $15, and stuck his head into the opening, at which time the
machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman
pulled out his head and surveyed his reflection, which reflected the
best haircut of his life. Two feet away was another machine with a
sign that read, "Manicures, $20." "Why not?" thought the salesman. He
paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and the machine
started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later he pulled out his
hands and they were perfectly manicured. The next machine had a sign
that read, "This machine provides a service men need when away from
their wives, 50 cents." The salesman looked both ways, put fifty cents
in the machine, unzipped his fly, and with some anticipation, stuck
his manhood into the opening. When the machine started buzzing, the
guy let out a shriek of agony and almost passed out. Fifteen seconds
later it shut off. With trembling hands, the salesman was able to
withdraw his tender unit, which now had a button sewn neatly on the
end.