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Intelligence - 73

Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the
other, "Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is
standing up there in the shade of a tree?" "I don't know," responded the other.
"I'll ask him."

So he climbed out of the hole and went to his boss. "Why are we digging in
the hot sun and you're standing in the shade?" "Intelligence," the
boss said. "What do you mean, 'intelligence'?"

The boss said, "Well, I'll show you. I'll put my hand on this tree and
I want you to hit it with your fist as hard as you can." The ditch
digger took a mighty swing and tried to hit the boss' hand. The boss removed
his hand and the ditch digger hit the tree. The boss said, "That's
intelligence!"

The ditch digger went back to his hole. His friend asked, "What did
he say?" "He said we are down here because of intelligence." "What's
intelligence?" said the friend. The ditch digger put his hand on his
face and said, "Take your shovel and hit my hand."

Cremated husband - 30

Martha recently lost her husband.

She had him cremated and brought his ashes home.

Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the patio
table.

Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to
him....

"Herman, you know that dishwasher you promised me? I bought it with
the insurance money!"

She paused for a minute tracing her fingers in the ashes then said,
"Herman, remember that car you promised me? Well, I also bought it
with the insurance money!"

Again, she paused for a few minutes and while tracing her fingers in
the ashes she said, "Herman, that diamond ring you promised me? Bought
it too, with the insurance money!"

Finally, still tracing her fingers in the ashes, She said, "Herman,
remember that blow job I promised you?"

"Here it comes."