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A strange postcard - 95

A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she
told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the
nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby
there. "But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked. He
replied, "Just send me a postcard and write 'spaghetti' on the back.
I'll take care of expenses." Not knowing what else to do, the nurse
took the money and flew to Italy.

Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called him at
the office and explained, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard
in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means."
The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to
you."

Later that evening, the doctor came home, read the postcard, fell to
the floor with a heart
attack. Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead medic stayed back to
comfort the wife.
He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest. So the wife
picked up the card and read, "'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti,
Spaghetti - Two with sausage and meatballs, two without.'"

The Statue - 46

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the
front door. "Hurry!" she said, "stand in the corner."

She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with
talcum powder. "Don't move until I tell you to," she whispered. "Just
pretend you're a statue."

"What's this, honey?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.

"Oh, it's just a statue," she replied nonchalantly. "The Smiths bought one
for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us too." No more was
said about the statue, not even later that night when they went to sleep.

Around two in the morning the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen
and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk.

"Here," he said to the 'statue', "eat something. I stood like an idiot at
the Smiths' for three days, and nobody offered me as much as a glass of
water."