Which one is funnier? Click to Pick!
Three rednecks, Bubba, Earl and Jeb, were stumbling home late one
night and found themselves on the road that led past the old graveyard.
"Come have a look over here", says Bubba, "It's Zeb Jones' grave, God
bless his soul, he lived to the ripe old age of 87."
"That's nothing", says Earl, "here's one named Butch Smith. It says
here that he was 95 when he died."
Just then, Jeb yells out, "But here's a fella that died when he was
145 years old!"
"What was his name?" asks Bubba.
Jeb lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker,
and exclaims, "Miles, from Georgia.".
A guy starts a new job, and the boss says, "If you marry my daughter,
I'll make you a partner, give you an expense account, a Mercedes, and a
million dollar annual salary."
The guy says, "What's wrong with her?"
The boss shows him a picture, and she's hideous.
The boss says, "It's only fair to tell you, she's not only ugly, she's
as dumb as a wall."
The guy says, "I don't care what you offer me, it ain't worth it."
The boss says, "I'll give you a five million dollar salary and build
you a mansion on Long Island."
The guy accepts, figuring he can put a bag over her head when they
About a year later, the guy buys an original Van Gogh and he's about to
hang it on the wall. He climbs a ladder and yells to his wife, "Bring
me a hammer."
She mumbles, "Get the hammer. Get the hammer," and she fetches the hammer.
The guy says, "Get me some nails."
She mumbles, "Get the nails. Get the nails," and she gets him some nails.
The guys starts hammering a nail into the wall, he hits his thumb, and
he yells, "Fuck!"
She mumbles, "Get the bag. Get the bag."