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Golf Story - 17

Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods are in a restaurant
having dinner.

Woods turns to Wonder and says, "How's the singing
career going?"

Stevie Wonder replies, "Not too bad. How's the golf?"

Woods replies, "Not too bad, I've had some problems
with my swing, but I think I've got that going right now."

Stevie says, "I always find that when my swing goes
wrong, I need to stop
playing for a while and not think about it. Then,
the next time I play, it seems to be all right."

Tiger says, "You play golf?"

Wonder says, "Oh, yes, I've been playing for years."

Woods says, "But you're blind! How can you play golf
if you can't see?"
Wonder replies, "I get my caddy to stand in the
middle of the fairway and
call to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and
play the ball toward
him. Then, when I get to where the ball lands, the
caddy moves to the
green or farther down the fairway and again I play
the ball toward his voice."

But how do you putt?" asks Woods.

"Well," says Stevie, "I get my caddy to lean down in
front of the hole and
call to me with his head on the ground, and I just
play the ball toward his voice."

Woods asks, "What's your handicap?"

Stevie says, "Well, I'm a scratch golfer."

Woods, incredulous, says to Stevie, "We've got to
play a round sometime."

Wonder replies, "Well, people don't take me
seriously, so I only play for
money, and never play for less than $10,000 a hole."

Woods thinks about it and says, "OK, I'm for that,
when would you like to play?"

Stevie says, "Pick any night this month."

Intelligence - 73

Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the
other, "Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is
standing up there in the shade of a tree?" "I don't know," responded the other.
"I'll ask him."

So he climbed out of the hole and went to his boss. "Why are we digging in
the hot sun and you're standing in the shade?" "Intelligence," the
boss said. "What do you mean, 'intelligence'?"

The boss said, "Well, I'll show you. I'll put my hand on this tree and
I want you to hit it with your fist as hard as you can." The ditch
digger took a mighty swing and tried to hit the boss' hand. The boss removed
his hand and the ditch digger hit the tree. The boss said, "That's
intelligence!"

The ditch digger went back to his hole. His friend asked, "What did
he say?" "He said we are down here because of intelligence." "What's
intelligence?" said the friend. The ditch digger put his hand on his
face and said, "Take your shovel and hit my hand."