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Which one is funnier? Click to Pick!

Ugly as hell - 42

A guy starts a new job, and the boss says, "If you marry my daughter,
I'll make you a partner, give you an expense account, a Mercedes, and a
million dollar annual salary."

The guy says, "What's wrong with her?"

The boss shows him a picture, and she's hideous.

The boss says, "It's only fair to tell you, she's not only ugly, she's
as dumb as a wall."

The guy says, "I don't care what you offer me, it ain't worth it."

The boss says, "I'll give you a five million dollar salary and build
you a mansion on Long Island."

The guy accepts, figuring he can put a bag over her head when they
have sex.

About a year later, the guy buys an original Van Gogh and he's about to
hang it on the wall. He climbs a ladder and yells to his wife, "Bring
me a hammer."

She mumbles, "Get the hammer. Get the hammer," and she fetches the hammer.

The guy says, "Get me some nails."

She mumbles, "Get the nails. Get the nails," and she gets him some nails.

The guys starts hammering a nail into the wall, he hits his thumb, and
he yells, "Fuck!"

She mumbles, "Get the bag. Get the bag."

Discovery Channel - 80

A couple was watching a Discovery Channel special about an African
bush tribe whose men all had penises 24 inches long.

When males reach a certain age, a string is tied around the penis and
on the other end is a weight. After a while, the weight stretches the
penis to 24 inches.

Later that evening as the husband was getting out of the shower, his
wife looked down at him and said, "How about we try the African
string-and-weight procedure?"

The husband agreed and they tied a string and weight to his penis.

A few days later, the wife asked the husband, "How is our little
tribal experiment coming along?"

"Well, it looks like we're about half way there," he replied.

"Wow, you've grown to 12 inches??"

"No...it's turned black."