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New Safeway Store - 7

We've been waiting for this store to open ....

The new Safeway near our house has an automatic water mister to keep the
produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant
thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and witness the scent
of fresh hay.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air
is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.

I don't buy toilet paper there any more.

The wife and the mortician - 104

The mortician calls Mrs. Banley, and says, "Excuse me Mrs. Banley, but
I can't seem to close the lid to your husband's coffin because he has
a huge erection." To which she replies, "Why don't you cut it off and
stick it up his ass? That's the only hole in town it hasn't been in."