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There are Ducks in heaven - 85

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.

When they get there, St. Peter says, 'We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!'

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.

It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, 'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!'

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on .... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says, 'I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?'

The guy says, 'I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck.

Natalie - 109

The Madam opened the brothel door to see a frail, elderly gentleman..
"Can I help you?" the madam asked. "I want Natalie," the old man
replied. "Sir, Natalie is one of our most expensive ladies, perhaps
someone else..." "No, I must see Natalie."

Just then Natalie appeared and announced to the old man that she
charges $1,000 per visit. Without blinking, the man reached into his
pocket and handed her ten $100 bills. The two went up to a room for an
hour, whereupon the man calmly left..

The next night he appeared again demanding to see Natalie. Natalie
explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row and that
There were no discounts...it was still $1,000 a visit. Again the old
man took out the money, the two went up to the room and an hour
later, he left.

When he showed up the third consecutive night, no one could believe
it. Again he handed Natalie the money and up to the room they went. At
the end of the hour Natalie questioned the old man: "No one has ever
used my services three nights in a row. Where are you from?" The old
man replied, "I'm from Philadelphia."

"Really?" replied Natalie. "I have family who lives there."

"Yes, I know," said the old man. "Your father died, and I'm your
sister's attorney. She asked me to give this $3,000 to you.".