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Dragging Dead Dear - 81

Two Redneck hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their
pickeup truck. Another hunter approached pulling his along too. "Hey," says
the lone hunter, "I don't want to tell you how to do something... but I
can tell you that it's much easier if you drag the deer in the opposite
direction. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground." After the
lone hunter left, the two Rednecks decided to give it a try. A little
while later one says to the other, "Ya know, that guy was right. This is a
lot easier!"
"Yep," the other added, "but we're gittin' further away from the
truck..."

What goes first? - 41

The Sunday School teacher was speaking to her class one Sunday morning
and she asked the question, "When you die and go to Heaven, which part of
your body goes first?"

Suzie raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands."


"Why do you think it's your hands, Suzie?"


Suzie replied, "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together
in front of you and God just takes your hands first!"


"What a wonderful answer!" the teacher said.


Now, Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Teacher, I think it's
your legs."


The teacher looked at him with the strangest look on her face as Johnny is
known for his antics. Hesitant to ask, the teacher said, "Now, Johnny,
why do you think it would be your legs?"


Lil Johnny said, "Well, I walked into Mommy and Daddy's bedroom the
other night, Mommy had her legs straight up in the air and she was moaning,
'God, I'm coming!', and if Dad hadn't had her pinned down, we'd have lost
her for sure!"