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C-141 - 84

A US Air Force C-141 was scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland
at midnight. During the pilot's preflight check, he discovered that the
aircraft's latrine holding tank was still full from the last flight.
So a message was sent to the base, and an airman who was off duty is called
out to take care of it.

The young man finally got to the air base and made his way to the
aircraft, only to find that the latrine pump truck had been left
outdoors and was frozen solid, so he had to find another one in the hangar,
which takes even more time. He returned to the aircraft and was less than
enthusiastic about what he had to do. Nevertheless, he went about the
pumping job deliberately and carefully (and slowly) so as to not risk
criticism later.

As he's left the plane, the pilot stopped him and said, "Son, your
attitude and performance has caused this flight to be late, and I'm
going to personally see to it that you are not just reprimanded, but
punished."

Shivering in the cold, his task finished, the airman took a deep
breath, stood up tall and said, "Sir, with all due respect, I'm not your son;
I'm an Airman in the United States Air Force. I've been in Thule,
Greenland for 11 months without any leave, and the reindeer are beginning to
look pretty good to me. I have one stripe, it's two-thirty in the morning,
the temperature is 40 degrees below zero and my job here is to pump sh*t
from your aircraft. Now just exactly what form of punishment did you have
in mind?"

HONK if you love Jesus - 54

The other day I went to the local religious book store, where I saw a
HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the
back bumper of my car, and I'm really glad I did. What an uplifting
experience followed.

I was stopped at the light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought
about the Lord, and didn't notice that the light had changed. That
bumper sticker really worked! I found lots of people who love Jesus.
Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy. He must REALLY love
the lord because pretty soon, he leaned out his window and yelled,
"Jesus Christ!!" as loud as he could. It was like a football game
with him shouting, "GO JESUS CHRIST,GO!!!" Everyone else started honking,
too, so I leaned out my window and waved and smiled to all of those
loving people.

There must have been a guy from Florida back there
because I could hear him yelling something about a sunny beach, and saw
him waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the
air. I asked my two kids what that meant. They kind of squirmed, looked
at each other, giggled and told me that it was the Hawaiian good luck
sign. So, I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back.
Several cars behind, a very nice black man stepped out of his car and
yelled something. I couldn't hear him very well, but it sounded like,
"Mother trucker," or "Mother's from there." Maybe he was from Florida,
too. He must really love the Lord. A couple of the people were so caught
up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and were
walking toward me. I bet they wanted to pray, but just then I noticed
that the light had changed, and stepped on the gas. And a good thing
I did, because I was the only driver to get across the intersection. I
looked back at them standing there. I leaned way out the window, gave
them a big smile and held up the Hawaiian good luck sign, as I drove
away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks.