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Snip Snip - 21

A midget complained to his doctor that his testicles ached all the
time.

The physician told the midget to drop his pants. The doctor then
lifted him up onto the table to take a look.

Putting one finger under the left testicle, the doctor had the midget
cough. "Hmmm" said the doctor. Then, putting his finger under the
right testicle, the doc asked the midget to cough again.

"Ahhh!" said the doctor, as he reached for his surgical scissors.
Snip, snip, snip on the right side & then snip, snip, snip on the left
side.

The doctor then told the midget to pull up his pants and see if he
still ached.

The midget was delighted with the result. He walked around the doc's
office and his testicles did not ache.

"What did you do Doc?" he asked.

The doc replied, "I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots."
...

An Old Man Visit His Doctor - 64

An old man visits his doctor and after thorough examination the doctor
tells him: “I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear
first?”Patient: “Well, give me the bad news first.”Doctor: “You have
cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left.”Patient: “OH
NO! Thats awefull! In two years my life will be over! What kind of
good news could you probably tell me, after this???”Doctor: “You also
have Alzheimers. In about three months you are going to forget
everything I told you.”