HOME TOP JOKES CATEGORY SUBMIT SEARCH CONTACT

Which one is funnier? Click to Pick!

Intelligence - 73

Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the
other, "Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is
standing up there in the shade of a tree?" "I don't know," responded the other.
"I'll ask him."

So he climbed out of the hole and went to his boss. "Why are we digging in
the hot sun and you're standing in the shade?" "Intelligence," the
boss said. "What do you mean, 'intelligence'?"

The boss said, "Well, I'll show you. I'll put my hand on this tree and
I want you to hit it with your fist as hard as you can." The ditch
digger took a mighty swing and tried to hit the boss' hand. The boss removed
his hand and the ditch digger hit the tree. The boss said, "That's
intelligence!"

The ditch digger went back to his hole. His friend asked, "What did
he say?" "He said we are down here because of intelligence." "What's
intelligence?" said the friend. The ditch digger put his hand on his
face and said, "Take your shovel and hit my hand."

C-141 - 84

A US Air Force C-141 was scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland
at midnight. During the pilot's preflight check, he discovered that the
aircraft's latrine holding tank was still full from the last flight.
So a message was sent to the base, and an airman who was off duty is called
out to take care of it.

The young man finally got to the air base and made his way to the
aircraft, only to find that the latrine pump truck had been left
outdoors and was frozen solid, so he had to find another one in the hangar,
which takes even more time. He returned to the aircraft and was less than
enthusiastic about what he had to do. Nevertheless, he went about the
pumping job deliberately and carefully (and slowly) so as to not risk
criticism later.

As he's left the plane, the pilot stopped him and said, "Son, your
attitude and performance has caused this flight to be late, and I'm
going to personally see to it that you are not just reprimanded, but
punished."

Shivering in the cold, his task finished, the airman took a deep
breath, stood up tall and said, "Sir, with all due respect, I'm not your son;
I'm an Airman in the United States Air Force. I've been in Thule,
Greenland for 11 months without any leave, and the reindeer are beginning to
look pretty good to me. I have one stripe, it's two-thirty in the morning,
the temperature is 40 degrees below zero and my job here is to pump sh*t
from your aircraft. Now just exactly what form of punishment did you have
in mind?"