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Savings - 69

A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon wedding where
the groom was 95 years old and the bride was 23. The groom looked pretty
feeble and the feeling was that the wedding night might kill him,
because his bride was a healthy, vivacious young woman.

But lo and behold, the next morning, the bride came down the main
staircase slowly, step by step, hanging onto the banister for dear
life.

She finally managed to get to the counter of the little shop in the
hotel. The clerk looked really concerned, "Whatever happened to you, honey?
You look like you've been wrestling an alligator!"

The bride groaned, hung on to the counter and managed to speak, "Ohhh
God! He told me he'd been saving up for 75 years, and I thought he meant
his money!!"

Follow the doctors orders - 40

A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.

"I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and
repeat
this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have
lost at
least five pounds.


When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds.


"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my
instructions?"


The blonde nods.


"I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third
day."


"From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.


"No, from skipping."