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Follow the doctors orders - 40

A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.

"I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and
repeat
this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have
lost at
least five pounds.


When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds.


"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my
instructions?"


The blonde nods.


"I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third
day."


"From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.


"No, from skipping."

Nurse Nancy - 65

Two doctors are in the hallway complaining about nurse Nancy.
''She's out of control!'' the first doctor says. ''She does
everything
backwards. Just last week I told her to give a man two milligrams of
morphine every ten hours, she gave him 10 milligrams every two hours,
he
alomost died!''


''That's nothing,'' said the second doctor, “earlier this week I told
her
to give a man an enema every 24 hours, she tried to give him 24 enemas
in
one hour!''


All of a sudden they heard a blood curldling scream from down the
hallway.


''OH MY GOD! I just realized that I told nurse Nancy to prick Mr.
Smiths
boil!'''