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Diamonds - 13

An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young lass at his side.

He told the jeweler he was looking for a very special ring for his girlfriend.

The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him.

The old man said, "I don't think you understand, I want something very special."
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over.
"Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000, the jeweler said."
The young woman's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.

The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it!"

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated,

"By check, and I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds.

I'll pick the ring up on Monday afternoon."

Monday morning, a very distressed jeweler phoned the old man.

"There's no money in that account!"
"I know," said the old guy. " But can you
imagine the weekend I had!"

Three nuns at the Pearly Gates - 92

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, they are
met by St. Peter. He says "Sisters, you all led such wonderful lives
that I'm granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you
want to be."

The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren;" and *poof* she's
gone.

The second says, "I want to be Madonna;" and *poof* she's gone.

The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini."

St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he says.

"Sara Pipalini;" replies the nun.

St. Peter shakes his head and says; "I'm sorry, but that name just
doesn't ring a bell."

The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St.
Peter. He reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her
and says "No sister, the paper says it was the 'Sahara Pipeline' that
was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months."