Which one is funnier? Click to Pick!

A strange postcard - 95

A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she
told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the
nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby
there. "But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked. He
replied, "Just send me a postcard and write 'spaghetti' on the back.
I'll take care of expenses." Not knowing what else to do, the nurse
took the money and flew to Italy.

Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called him at
the office and explained, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard
in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means."
The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to

Later that evening, the doctor came home, read the postcard, fell to
the floor with a heart
attack. Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead medic stayed back to
comfort the wife.
He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest. So the wife
picked up the card and read, "'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti,
Spaghetti - Two with sausage and meatballs, two without.'"

House Call - 117

A young doctor moved out to a small community to replace the aging
doctor there. The older doctor suggested that the younger doctor
accompany him as he made his house calls so that the people of the
community could become accustomed to him. At the first house they
visited, the younger doctor listened intently as the older doctor and
an older lady discussed the weather, their grandchildren and the
latest church bulletin. After some time, the older doctor asked his
patient how she had been feeling. "I've been a little sick to my
stomach," she replied. "Well," said the older physician, "you've
probably been over doing it a bit with the fresh fruit. Why don't you
cut back on the amount of fresh fruit you eat and see if that helps."
As they left the house, the younger doctor asked how the older doctor
had reached his diagnosis so quickly. "You didn't even examine that
woman," the younger doctor stated. "I didn't have to," the elder
physician explained. "You noticed that I dropped my stethoscope on the
floor in there. Well when I bent over to pick it up, I looked around
and noticed a half dozen banana peels in the trash can. That is
probably what has been making her ill." "That's pretty sneaky,"
commented the younger doctor. "Do you mind if I try it at the next
house?" "I don't suppose it could hurt anything," the elder physician
replied. At the next house, the two doctors visited with an elderly
widow. They spent several minutes discussing the weather and
grandchildren and the latest church bulletin. After several minutes,
the younger doctor asked the widow how she had been feeling lately.
"I've felt terribly run down lately," the widow replied. "I just don't
have as much energy as I used to." "You've probably been doing too
much work for the church," the younger doctor suggested without even
examining his patient. "Perhaps you should ease up a bit and see if
that helps." As they left, the elder physician said, "Your diagnosis
is probably right, but do you mind telling me how you came to that
conclusion?" "Sure," replied the younger doctor. "Just like you, I
dropped my stethoscope on the floor. When I bent down to pick it up, I
looked around and there was the preacher hiding under the bed!"