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Who's Deaf - 49

There is a husband and a wife and the husband is worried because he thinks
his wife is going deaf.. So the husband goes to the doctor and says
"My wife is losing her hearing what do I do?"

"Do a test." says the doctor. "Ask her a question from 40ft away, 20ft,
10ft and 5 ft away. See when she starts to hear you."

So he went home and asked his wife from 40ft away when dinner will be
ready.

No response.

20ft no response.

10ft no response.

At 5 ft his wife replies "For the 4th time dinner will be ready in 10
minutes!"

Walking the dog - 105

"Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?" a little girl
asked. "No, I don't think so. Fifi is in heat," replied the mother.
"What does that mean?" asked the child. Embarrassed and not wanting to
get into a biological discussion with her young daughter, the Mother
said, "Oh, just go ask your father. I think he is in the garage."

The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Fifi for
a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said that Fifi was in
heat, and that I had to come talk to you." Not wanting to have the
biological discussion either, the father said, "Bring Fifi over here."
He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's rear
end with it. "Okay, now you can go for a walk but keep Fifi on the
leash and you can only go around the block once."

The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with NO DOG on
the leash. "Where is Fifi?" her father asked. "She should be here in a
minute," advised the daughter. "She ran out of gas about halfway down
the block and another dog is pushing her home."