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Old Man Approaches The Window Of A Cinema - 63

An old man approaches the window of a cinema with a chicken on his
shoulder, and asks for 2 tickets. The girl at the counter wants to
know who is going in with him. He replies, “Well, my pet chicken, of
course!” “Im sorry,” The girl tells him. “We cant allow animals in the
cinema.” The man goes around the corner and stuffs the chicken into
his trousers. He returns to the window, buys his ticket and goes in.
Inside the cinema, the chicken starts to get hot and begins to squirm,
so the man unzips his trousers so the chicken can stick its head out
and watch the film. Seated next to him is a woman. She looks over at
his lap and is horrified. She elbows her friend Agnes and whispers,
“Agnes, this man over here has just unzipped his trousers!” Agnes
whispers back, “Oh, dont worry about it…youve seen one, youve seen
them all.” Madge says, “I KNOW…but this ones eating my POPCORN!!”

A strange postcard - 95

A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she
told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the
nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby
there. "But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked. He
replied, "Just send me a postcard and write 'spaghetti' on the back.
I'll take care of expenses." Not knowing what else to do, the nurse
took the money and flew to Italy.

Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called him at
the office and explained, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard
in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means."
The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to
you."

Later that evening, the doctor came home, read the postcard, fell to
the floor with a heart
attack. Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead medic stayed back to
comfort the wife.
He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest. So the wife
picked up the card and read, "'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti,
Spaghetti - Two with sausage and meatballs, two without.'"