Which one is funnier? Click to Pick!
The other day I went to the local religious book store, where I saw a
HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the
back bumper of my car, and I'm really glad I did. What an uplifting
I was stopped at the light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought
about the Lord, and didn't notice that the light had changed. That
bumper sticker really worked! I found lots of people who love Jesus.
Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy. He must REALLY love
the lord because pretty soon, he leaned out his window and yelled,
"Jesus Christ!!" as loud as he could. It was like a football game
with him shouting, "GO JESUS CHRIST,GO!!!" Everyone else started honking,
too, so I leaned out my window and waved and smiled to all of those
There must have been a guy from Florida back there
because I could hear him yelling something about a sunny beach, and saw
him waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the
air. I asked my two kids what that meant. They kind of squirmed, looked
at each other, giggled and told me that it was the Hawaiian good luck
sign. So, I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back.
Several cars behind, a very nice black man stepped out of his car and
yelled something. I couldn't hear him very well, but it sounded like,
"Mother trucker," or "Mother's from there." Maybe he was from Florida,
too. He must really love the Lord. A couple of the people were so caught
up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and were
walking toward me. I bet they wanted to pray, but just then I noticed
that the light had changed, and stepped on the gas. And a good thing
I did, because I was the only driver to get across the intersection. I
looked back at them standing there. I leaned way out the window, gave
them a big smile and held up the Hawaiian good luck sign, as I drove
away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks.
A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money,
decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman" and
started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.
She went to the front door of the first house, and
asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.
"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my
porch," he said, "How much will you charge me?"
The blonde quickly responded, "How about $50?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and
everything she would need were in the garage
The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to
her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes
all the way around the house?"
He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"
The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm
starting to believe all those 'dumb blonde' jokes
we've been getting by e-mail lately." A short time
later, the blonde came to the door to collect her
"You're finished already?" the husband asked.
"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had paint left
over, so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the
$50.00 and handed it to her.
"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a
Porch, it's a Lexus