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Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 - 37

Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96
lived in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She
puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I
getting in or out of the bath?"

The 94 year old yells back, "I don’t know. I’ll come up and see."

She starts up the stairs and pauses "Was I going up the stairs or
down?" The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea
listening to her sisters.

She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that
forgetful" (knocks on wood).

She then yells, "I’ll come up and help both of you as soon as I see
who’s at the door."

The wife and the mortician - 104

The mortician calls Mrs. Banley, and says, "Excuse me Mrs. Banley, but
I can't seem to close the lid to your husband's coffin because he has
a huge erection." To which she replies, "Why don't you cut it off and
stick it up his ass? That's the only hole in town it hasn't been in."