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Terms of endearment - 32

A man was invited to a friend's home for dinner, where he noticed that
his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms,
calling her Honey, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, and so forth. He was
impressed at this, since the couple had been married over 50 years.

While the wife was in the kitchen, he said, "I think it's wonderful
that after all these years you still call your wife those cute little
pet names."

His buddy hung his head. "To tell you the truth, I forgot her name
about 10 years ago."
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Old Man Approaches The Window Of A Cinema - 63

An old man approaches the window of a cinema with a chicken on his
shoulder, and asks for 2 tickets. The girl at the counter wants to
know who is going in with him. He replies, “Well, my pet chicken, of
course!” “Im sorry,” The girl tells him. “We cant allow animals in the
cinema.” The man goes around the corner and stuffs the chicken into
his trousers. He returns to the window, buys his ticket and goes in.
Inside the cinema, the chicken starts to get hot and begins to squirm,
so the man unzips his trousers so the chicken can stick its head out
and watch the film. Seated next to him is a woman. She looks over at
his lap and is horrified. She elbows her friend Agnes and whispers,
“Agnes, this man over here has just unzipped his trousers!” Agnes
whispers back, “Oh, dont worry about it…youve seen one, youve seen
them all.” Madge says, “I KNOW…but this ones eating my POPCORN!!”