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House Call - 117

A young doctor moved out to a small community to replace the aging
doctor there. The older doctor suggested that the younger doctor
accompany him as he made his house calls so that the people of the
community could become accustomed to him. At the first house they
visited, the younger doctor listened intently as the older doctor and
an older lady discussed the weather, their grandchildren and the
latest church bulletin. After some time, the older doctor asked his
patient how she had been feeling. "I've been a little sick to my
stomach," she replied. "Well," said the older physician, "you've
probably been over doing it a bit with the fresh fruit. Why don't you
cut back on the amount of fresh fruit you eat and see if that helps."
As they left the house, the younger doctor asked how the older doctor
had reached his diagnosis so quickly. "You didn't even examine that
woman," the younger doctor stated. "I didn't have to," the elder
physician explained. "You noticed that I dropped my stethoscope on the
floor in there. Well when I bent over to pick it up, I looked around
and noticed a half dozen banana peels in the trash can. That is
probably what has been making her ill." "That's pretty sneaky,"
commented the younger doctor. "Do you mind if I try it at the next
house?" "I don't suppose it could hurt anything," the elder physician
replied. At the next house, the two doctors visited with an elderly
widow. They spent several minutes discussing the weather and
grandchildren and the latest church bulletin. After several minutes,
the younger doctor asked the widow how she had been feeling lately.
"I've felt terribly run down lately," the widow replied. "I just don't
have as much energy as I used to." "You've probably been doing too
much work for the church," the younger doctor suggested without even
examining his patient. "Perhaps you should ease up a bit and see if
that helps." As they left, the elder physician said, "Your diagnosis
is probably right, but do you mind telling me how you came to that
conclusion?" "Sure," replied the younger doctor. "Just like you, I
dropped my stethoscope on the floor. When I bent down to pick it up, I
looked around and there was the preacher hiding under the bed!"

You get what you pay for - 102

George and Harriet decided to celebrate their 25th Wedding Anniversary
with a trip to Las Vegas. When they entered the hotel/casino and
registered, a sweet young woman dressed in a very short skirt became
very friendly. George brushed her off. Harriet objected, "George, that
young woman was nice, and you were so rude."

"Harriet, she's a prostitute."

"I don't believe you. That sweet young thing?"

"Let's go up to our room and I'll prove it."

In their room, George called down to the desk and asked for 'Bambi' to
come to room 1217. "Now," he said, "you hide in the bathroom with the
door open just enough to hear us, OK?" Soon, there was a knock on the
door. George opened it and Bambi walked in, swirling her hips
provocatively. George asked, "How much do you charge?" "$125 basic
rate, $100 tips for special services." Even George was taken aback.
"$125! I was thinking more in the range of $25." Bambi laughed
derisively. "You must really be a hick if you think you can buy sex
for that price."

"Well," said George, "I guess we can't do business. Goodbye." After
she left, Harriet came out of the bathroom. She said, "I just can't
believe it!" George said, "Let's forget it. We'll go have a drink,
then eat
dinner." At the bar, as they sipped their cocktails, Bambi came up
behind George, pointed slyly at Harriet, and said, "See what you get
for $25?"