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New Use for Viagra - 119

An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a
prescription of Viagra. The doctor said, "That's no problem. How many
do you want?"

The man answered, "Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4
pieces."

The doctor said, "That won't do you any good."

The elderly gentleman said, "That's alright. I don't need them for sex
anymore as I am over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far
enough so I don't pee on my shoes."

Discovery Channel - 80

A couple was watching a Discovery Channel special about an African
bush tribe whose men all had penises 24 inches long.

When males reach a certain age, a string is tied around the penis and
on the other end is a weight. After a while, the weight stretches the
penis to 24 inches.

Later that evening as the husband was getting out of the shower, his
wife looked down at him and said, "How about we try the African
string-and-weight procedure?"

The husband agreed and they tied a string and weight to his penis.

A few days later, the wife asked the husband, "How is our little
tribal experiment coming along?"

"Well, it looks like we're about half way there," he replied.

"Wow, you've grown to 12 inches??"

"No...it's turned black."