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Mind your manners - 94

Charlie marries a virgin. On their wedding night, he's on fire, so he
gets naked, jumps into bed, and immediately begins groping her.
"Charles, I expect you to be as mannerly in bed as you are at the
dinner table." So, Charlie folds his hands on his lap and says, "Is
this better?" "Much better!" she replies with a smile. "Okay, then,"
he says, "now will you please pass the pussy."

Lay offs - 52

There was a manager who was told by his boss that he had to get rid of at least one employee. So he narrowed the decision to one of two new employees, Jack or Mary. He then decided to speak to each one privately, and let their reactions help guide his decision.

So he called in Jack, explained the situation and, of course, Jack said he didn't want to lose his job, but he understood the boss's situation.

Then he called in Mary, and said, 'Mary, I've got a problem; By the end of the day, I've got to lay you or Jack off...'

And Mary says, 'Then you're gonna have to jack off. I've got a headache!'