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Oranges - 57

A girl was a prostitute, but she didn't want her grandma to know. One day,
the police raided a whole group of prostitutes at a sex party in a hotel
and the girl was among them. The police took them outside and had all the
prostitutes line up along the driveway when suddenly, the girl's grandma
came by and saw her granddaughter.

Grandma asked, "Why are you standing in line here, dear?" Not willing to
let her grandmother know the truth, the girl told her grandmother that the
policemen were there passing out free oranges and she was just lining up
for some.

"Why, that's awfully nice of them. I think I'll get some for myself," and
she proceeded to the back of the line.

A policeman was going down the line asking for information from all of the
prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, he was bewildered and exclaimed,
"Wow, still going at it at your age? How do you do it?"

Grandma replied, "Oh, it's easy, dear. I just take my dentures out, rip
the skin back and suck them dry."

An Old Man Visit His Doctor - 64

An old man visits his doctor and after thorough examination the doctor
tells him: “I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear
first?”Patient: “Well, give me the bad news first.”Doctor: “You have
cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left.”Patient: “OH
NO! Thats awefull! In two years my life will be over! What kind of
good news could you probably tell me, after this???”Doctor: “You also
have Alzheimers. In about three months you are going to forget
everything I told you.”