Which one is funnier? Click to Pick!

Lay offs - 52

There was a manager who was told by his boss that he had to get rid of at least one employee. So he narrowed the decision to one of two new employees, Jack or Mary. He then decided to speak to each one privately, and let their reactions help guide his decision.

So he called in Jack, explained the situation and, of course, Jack said he didn't want to lose his job, but he understood the boss's situation.

Then he called in Mary, and said, 'Mary, I've got a problem; By the end of the day, I've got to lay you or Jack off...'

And Mary says, 'Then you're gonna have to jack off. I've got a headache!'

Badge of office - 114

A DEA agent, together with an ATF and a FBI agent, as part of a task force,
arrive at a ranch in western Nebraska.
The agents tell the rancher, "We need to inspect your ranch for illegally
grown drugs."
The old rancher says, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there."
The DEA agent explodes saying, "Mister, we have the authority of the Federal
Government with us."
Reaching into his rear pocket and removing his badge, the agent proudly
displays it to the farmer.
"See this badge? This badge means we are allowed to go wherever we wish on
any land. No questions asked nor answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do
you understand?"
The old rancher nods politely and goes about his chores.
Later, the old rancher hears loud screams and spies the three agents running
for their lives. Close behind is the rancher's bull. With every step the
bull is gaining ground on the agents. They are clearly terrified.
The old rancher immediately throws down his tools, runs to the fence and
yells at the top of his lungs:
"Your badges! Show him your badges!"