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Intelligence - 73

Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the
other, "Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is
standing up there in the shade of a tree?" "I don't know," responded the other.
"I'll ask him."

So he climbed out of the hole and went to his boss. "Why are we digging in
the hot sun and you're standing in the shade?" "Intelligence," the
boss said. "What do you mean, 'intelligence'?"

The boss said, "Well, I'll show you. I'll put my hand on this tree and
I want you to hit it with your fist as hard as you can." The ditch
digger took a mighty swing and tried to hit the boss' hand. The boss removed
his hand and the ditch digger hit the tree. The boss said, "That's
intelligence!"

The ditch digger went back to his hole. His friend asked, "What did
he say?" "He said we are down here because of intelligence." "What's
intelligence?" said the friend. The ditch digger put his hand on his
face and said, "Take your shovel and hit my hand."

Holy Bread - 74

A sales representative from a major chicken producer is sent on a
mission to the Vatican.
He meets with the Pope: "Holy Father, my company would like to make a
substantial donation to the Holy Mother Church - but there's only one
condition...."

"Yes, my son?"
"We'd like you to authorize changing the Lord's Prayer from "Give us
this day our daily bread to give us this day, our daily chicken."
"I don't know my Son. Tradition and all, you know."
"Well your Holiness, we are prepared to give you a Million dollars to
do this."
"I don't know my Son. Tradition and all, you know."
So, the chicken man, hurries off for a quick phone call to his boss
and he comes back.
"Your Worship, I am authorized to go up to one Billion dollars if you
change "Give us this
day our daily bread, to give us this day our daily chicken."
The Pope shrugs with a smile and says, "Well, now, my Son, give me a
call tomorrow."
Later that day the Pope has a big meeting with his Cardinals,
Bishops, Priests the whole Vatican family is there.
He says to them, "Boys, I gotta some a good news, and I gotta some a
bad news...."
"The good news is that the Holy Mother Church has come into one
Billion dollars!!"
(CHEERING! APPLAUSE! BRAVO! BRAVO!!!)
"Boys, the bad news is that we have lost the Wonderbread account!"