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New Doctor - 10

I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and
exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him,
"Do you think I'll live to be 80?"
He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?" "Oh no," I
replied. "I'm not doing drugs, either."
Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"
I said, "No, my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!"
"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking,
or bicycling?"
"No, I don't," I said.
He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?"
"No," I said. "I don't do any of those things."

He looked at me and said, "Then, why do you give a shit?"

Blonde Joke - 11

A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money,
decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman" and
started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.


She went to the front door of the first house, and
asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my
porch," he said, "How much will you charge me?"


The blonde quickly responded, "How about $50?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint and

everything she would need were in the garage

The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to
her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes
all the way around the house?"

He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"

The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm
starting to believe all those 'dumb blonde' jokes
we've been getting by e-mail lately." A short time
later, the blonde came to the door to collect her
money.

"You're finished already?" the husband asked.

"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had paint left
over, so I gave it two coats."

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the
$50.00 and handed it to her.

"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a
Porch, it's a Lexus