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I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, the wars,
global warming, my savings, Social Security, my credit card debt.....
I called samaritans.
Got a freakin' call center in Pakistan.
I told them I was suicidal.
They all got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.....
The only cow in a small town in Arkansas stopped giving milk. The people
did some research and found they could buy a cow up in Westby, Wisconsin,
for $600. They bought the cow from Wisconsin, and the cow was wonderful.
It produced lots of milk all of the time, and the people were pleased
and very happy.
They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows
like it. They would never have to worry about their milk supply again.
They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow.
However, whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away.
No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away
from the bull, and he could not succeed in his quest.
The people were very upset and decided to ask the Vet, who was very wise,
what to do. They told the Vet what was happening: "Whenever the bull
approaches our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she
moves forward.When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. and
when he approaches from the side, she walks away to the other side."
The Vet thinks about this for a minute and asks, "Did you buy this cow in
The people were dumbfounded, since they had never mentioned where they
bought the cow. "You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know
we got the cow in Wisconsin?"
The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye, "My wife is from