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A strange postcard - 95

A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she
told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the
nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby
there. "But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked. He
replied, "Just send me a postcard and write 'spaghetti' on the back.
I'll take care of expenses." Not knowing what else to do, the nurse
took the money and flew to Italy.

Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called him at
the office and explained, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard
in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means."
The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to
you."

Later that evening, the doctor came home, read the postcard, fell to
the floor with a heart
attack. Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead medic stayed back to
comfort the wife.
He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest. So the wife
picked up the card and read, "'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti,
Spaghetti - Two with sausage and meatballs, two without.'"

Elderly couple - 35

An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other
for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time
to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long
conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed
finances, living arrangements, and so on. Finally, the old gentleman
decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.

'How do you feel about sex?' he asked, rather tentatively.

'I would like it infrequently.' She replied.

The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, then
leaned over towards her and
whispered, 'Is that one word or two?'