HOME TOP JOKES CATEGORY SUBMIT SEARCH CONTACT

Which one is funnier? Click to Pick!

After Vegas - 67

Three buddies decided to take their wives on a week-long vacation to
Las Vegas. The week flew by and they all had a great time. After they
returned home and the men went back to work, the men sat around at break and
discussed their vacation.

The first guy said, "I don't think I'll ever do that again! Ever since
we got back, my wife flings her arms and hollers, '7 come 11' all night,
and I haven't had a wink of sleep!"

The second guy said, "I know what you mean. My wife played blackjack the
whole time we were there, and she slaps the bed all night and hollers,
'Hit me light' or 'hit me hard!' and I haven't had a wink of sleep
either!"

The third guy said, "You guys think you have it bad! My wife played the
slots the whole time we were there, and I wake up each morning with a
sore dick and an ass full of quarters."

Golf Story - 17

Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods are in a restaurant
having dinner.

Woods turns to Wonder and says, "How's the singing
career going?"

Stevie Wonder replies, "Not too bad. How's the golf?"

Woods replies, "Not too bad, I've had some problems
with my swing, but I think I've got that going right now."

Stevie says, "I always find that when my swing goes
wrong, I need to stop
playing for a while and not think about it. Then,
the next time I play, it seems to be all right."

Tiger says, "You play golf?"

Wonder says, "Oh, yes, I've been playing for years."

Woods says, "But you're blind! How can you play golf
if you can't see?"
Wonder replies, "I get my caddy to stand in the
middle of the fairway and
call to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and
play the ball toward
him. Then, when I get to where the ball lands, the
caddy moves to the
green or farther down the fairway and again I play
the ball toward his voice."

But how do you putt?" asks Woods.

"Well," says Stevie, "I get my caddy to lean down in
front of the hole and
call to me with his head on the ground, and I just
play the ball toward his voice."

Woods asks, "What's your handicap?"

Stevie says, "Well, I'm a scratch golfer."

Woods, incredulous, says to Stevie, "We've got to
play a round sometime."

Wonder replies, "Well, people don't take me
seriously, so I only play for
money, and never play for less than $10,000 a hole."

Woods thinks about it and says, "OK, I'm for that,
when would you like to play?"

Stevie says, "Pick any night this month."