Which one is funnier? Click to Pick!
A US Air Force C-141 was scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland
at midnight. During the pilot's preflight check, he discovered that the
aircraft's latrine holding tank was still full from the last flight.
So a message was sent to the base, and an airman who was off duty is called
out to take care of it.
The young man finally got to the air base and made his way to the
aircraft, only to find that the latrine pump truck had been left
outdoors and was frozen solid, so he had to find another one in the hangar,
which takes even more time. He returned to the aircraft and was less than
enthusiastic about what he had to do. Nevertheless, he went about the
pumping job deliberately and carefully (and slowly) so as to not risk
As he's left the plane, the pilot stopped him and said, "Son, your
attitude and performance has caused this flight to be late, and I'm
going to personally see to it that you are not just reprimanded, but
Shivering in the cold, his task finished, the airman took a deep
breath, stood up tall and said, "Sir, with all due respect, I'm not your son;
I'm an Airman in the United States Air Force. I've been in Thule,
Greenland for 11 months without any leave, and the reindeer are beginning to
look pretty good to me. I have one stripe, it's two-thirty in the morning,
the temperature is 40 degrees below zero and my job here is to pump sh*t
from your aircraft. Now just exactly what form of punishment did you have
A father put his three year old daughter to bed,
told her a story and
listened to her prayers which she ended by
saying:"God bless Mommy, God
bless daddy, God bless grandma and good-bye
The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye
The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just
seemed like the thing to do."
The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was
a strange coincidence.
A few months later the father put the girl to bed
and listened to her
prayers, which went like this: "God bless Mommy, God
Bless daddy and good-bye grandma."
The next day the grandmother died. Oh my gosh,
thought the father, this kid
is in contact with the other side. Several weeks
later when the girl was
going to bed the dad heard her say:
"God bless Mommy and good-bye daddy."
He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep
all night and got up at
the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was
nervous as a cat all day, had
lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured if
he could get by until midnight he would be okay.
He felt safe in the
office, so instead of going
home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking
coffee, looking at his
watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight
arrived, he breathed a
sigh of relief and went home.
When he got home his wife said "I've never seen you
work so late, what's the matter?"
He said "I don't want to talk about it, I've just
spent the worst day of my life."
She said "You think you had a bad day, you'll never
believe what happened to me. This morning the milkman
dropped dead on our porch!