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Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the
other, "Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is
standing up there in the shade of a tree?" "I don't know," responded the other.
"I'll ask him."
So he climbed out of the hole and went to his boss. "Why are we digging in
the hot sun and you're standing in the shade?" "Intelligence," the
boss said. "What do you mean, 'intelligence'?"
The boss said, "Well, I'll show you. I'll put my hand on this tree and
I want you to hit it with your fist as hard as you can." The ditch
digger took a mighty swing and tried to hit the boss' hand. The boss removed
his hand and the ditch digger hit the tree. The boss said, "That's
The ditch digger went back to his hole. His friend asked, "What did
he say?" "He said we are down here because of intelligence." "What's
intelligence?" said the friend. The ditch digger put his hand on his
face and said, "Take your shovel and hit my hand."
t the end of the tax year, the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit
the books of a synagogue.
While he was checking the books, he turned to the Rabbi and said, "I
notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle
"Good question," noted the Rabbi. "We save them up and send them to
the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of
"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual
question had a practical answer.
But on he went, in his obnoxious way: "What about all these biscuit
purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?"
"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi, realizing that the inspector was trying
to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We collect them and send
them back to the manufacturers, and every now and then they send a
free box of holy biscuits."
"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster
the know-it-all Rabbi.
"Well, Rabbi," he went on, "What do you do with all the leftover
foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?"
"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save
up all the foreskins and send them to the Tax Office, and about once a
year they send us a complete dick."